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Friday, June 7, 2013

Why I should not envy others despite my sufferings

blogger while on Hemodialysis in Cebu
Me with my IJ access while hooked to the dialysis machine
Ever since I started my journey to a kidney transplant and having hemodialysis here in Cebu, there is no month that I have not suffered something -- it could either be an infection manifested by fever and chills and now frequent clotting of my IJ access which prompted multiple declogging of the catheter. I've gone through the pain of the different procedures, having stitches in both sides of my neck and both arms. Then there's my CMV result --- negative, which is uncommon.

The past few months, it was summer when people enjoy trips to various destinations showing their pictures on Facebook. While they do that, I was hooked to a dialysis machine. I miss going to the beach. I am sad that I cannot bring my wife anymore to new places that are nice to explore. I have skipped events I used to attend as a blogger. It really appears that all I experienced since my kidney failed are just sufferings because other dialysed patients seem to have no problems with their dialysis as they had gone smoothly.

And at one point I was envious of the good fortune of others. Minalas lang talaga yata ako.

I never lost faith in God although I started to request from Him a short break from the trials I am experiencing recently. Just a brief timeout because it has really been a difficult journey.

But I read this blog post of Valen Keefer, a PKD patient like me, and it made me realize that I have no reason to envy others. I have no reason to complain because all the while as I suffer, I have been provided the opportunity to enjoy something special which is far greater than going to Boracay or Hongkong, or owning the latest gadget.

I look around me. I have a wife who has never left my side who cares for me. I have former students asking me how I am. I have people Cebuanos and non-Cebuanos whom I don't know supporting me through the transplant fund. I have batchmates who expressed their all out support sharing their blessings and giving me medicines. I have teachers, former classmates and a family who check up on me and lend their support even if they are oceans away. I have dialysis nurses who genuinely care for me like any other dialysis patient. I have surgeons who never get tired helping me asking nothing in return. I have colleagues who share their expertise selflessly in managing my case. I have facebook friends who are also real friends who are there to lift my spirits when I'm down with their every comment, like, advice and messages. I have blogger friends who are very supportive. Even my dog Bacter and adopted dog Mushu cheer me up with their presence.
My number 1 cheerleaders, Bacter and my wife
Everyday, I am given the opportunity to experience love and I can really feel the LOVE. What more can you ask for?

Valen is right. Like her, I too am rich in love.

Thanks Valen for making me realize that.

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